Embracing Play and Unconventional Identities in Life's Whimsical Quest

Have you ever caught yourself longing for the carefree play of childhood, or wondered at the quiet rebellion brewing within when faced with the word 'normal'? Strap in for a whimsical ride through the twists and turns of embracing our quirks and the lost art of play, even as adults. This episode promises a heartwarming blend of personal stories, laughter, and the warmth of shared weirdness, as we traverse the path of self-discovery and the celebration of identity in all its facets.

Remember the superhero capes and pillow forts that defined our youth? We revisit these joys and question why adulthood often insists on trading play for perpetual seriousness. With tales of innovative teaching methods and adults rediscovering the wonders of play, we champion the notion that a playful spirit can indeed coexist with our grown-up responsibilities. This isn't just about nostalgia; it's an invitation to infuse our adult lives with the same creativity and exuberance that once came so naturally.

As the conversation winds down, we guide you through the evolving landscape of identity, especially in light of shifting roles and the fierce assertion of individuality by women and the younger generation. We delve into the profound question of who we are beyond societal labels and work titles, leaving you with a gentle nudge to ponder your essence in those rare moments of tranquility. Join us for this heartfelt exploration that aims not just to entertain, but to reconnect you with the essence of your true self.

Chapters

• 0:53 Embracing Our Weirdness and Identity
• 5:41 Lost Childhood Fun in Adulthood
• 16:13 Importance of Play for Adults & Teens
• 33:08 Exploring Identity and Self-Acceptance
• 39:44 Reflection on Identity and Self

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:53

we're just keeping you in suspense. Yeah, I'm going to say that they are. They coming up? Are they not coming up? Are they doing? Have they completely lost the plot and decided that they're not talking anymore in our podcasts? Can you imagine not talking anymore? Oh, my god, no, cheese, I can't imagine that. No, neither can I. That's scary thought that is there would be, wouldn't it a little bit? Yeah, they probably don't think that. No, they probably don't. Shut the fuck up. We've had enough of you talking on board already. We're only 49 seconds in one done. Shut the hell up. Yeah, no, I can't imagine that.

Speaker 1: 1:39

I always say that if you cut off my hands, I wouldn't be able to talk. No, no, it's funny in there. You're like one of the people you like, made to sit on your hands so you don't talk on board. I'm really uncomfortable. It's like when I'm listening, I have to turn things off to see what I'm doing. Don't ever do that when you're driving in a car and you have to turn the radio or the music down so you can see where you're going. Still on the top.

Speaker 1: 2:19

It's true, though, isn't it? Yeah, I do it at the time. Why do we do that? I don't know, I think it's for me. I just think I can't concentrate. I can't concentrate Because I've got to think what I'm doing. I can't concentrate.

Speaker 1: 2:35

However, the random thing about that the opposite of that is, if I'm doing stuff at home so say like I'm sitting in front of my laptop doing work at home for our stuff I will often have something on in the background. Yeah, I know what you mean. I'll put the telly on. I'm not watching it, but it's just something. It's sound, it's something background noise in. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it? Yeah, weird people aren't we? Yes, we're humans, we are. I think all humans are weird in general. Yeah, that's good, isn't it? Yeah, we're willing to embrace our weirdness. Oh, absolutely, people are scared to embrace their weirdness. Yes, they are. It's a bit of shame, isn't it? Because there's lots of weirdos out there. There is, unless, weirdos need to find other weirdos. Yeah, to show you that weirdo is okay. Weirdo is okay. Weirdo is the new. Okay, it is. We're putting it out there. Weirdo is the new, okay, weirdo is the new normal.

Speaker 1: 3:35

I did like my little finger bit in. It's very, it's very. It's such a hard word, I know it's. Yeah, it's nice, it's normal, it's normal. It's not such thing. It's all crap. It's like normal perfection. It's just bollocks. It is all bollocks. Yeah, it doesn't exist any bit. It's just a load of bollocks and boll.

Speaker 1: 3:57

Okay, a crap word programmed to leave, yes, from the outer echelons of life. Oh, what is it? What did you get that word from? I don't know when did that sound? It's a bit of a big word.

Speaker 1: 4:10

We've done lots of thinking today. Yeah, we have. Actually, I couldn't think of that word. My brain is hurting a little bit now. Oh my God, mate. Yeah, I think we've reached full capacity on the brain front, which is why we stopped thinking and decided to do this podcast, because we thought we'd run out of brain power. Definitely, yeah, mine is deteriorating fast. So what are we going to talk about today?

Speaker 1: 4:39

Well, our theme for this month isn't it is for February is identity. It is identity, isn't it? It is? And loving ourselves For all that goes for it, because we should love ourselves who we are. We don't seem to be very good at it, no, but we're programmed not to, aren't we? I know we are born about programming, but it's such a biggie it is and, like you say, we're led to believe that we need to fit in a box oh, bloody boxes, boxes that other people have told us that we need to fit in, and our identity is a base around that, a big box that we've and stick a big fat label on it. Yeah, this is it, and we live to that, don't we? Yeah, we struggle to be ourselves because we are programmed from a very young age, yes, not to be ourselves.

Speaker 1: 5:42

Yes, imagine like when we're little, aren't we? We run around, we sing out loud, we do crazy things, we're not afraid of anything. Well, except what's under your bed or in the water the boogeyman. I'm sure parents tell you that programming is keeping you in bed and we do not suppose that we do. But, yeah, and then suddenly it's like boom, and suddenly it's like I can't do that because I'm embarrassed, or I can't do that because somebody will say I'm really silly, or think I'm silly, or think I look stupid, or like that's Bollocks, isn't it? See, that's fascinating. See, like you say, at what age do we suddenly stop becoming little kids and we're allowed to do silly things? To? It's like somebody flicks a switch in it. Yeah, like we can do all those childish things and you never like when you're when your foot, not like.

Speaker 1: 6:39

I remember that long ago, when you're four years old, like you, never like. You always got to put on little shows and start dancing for it. Oh, look at this, look at me dancing at this. You're absolutely shy, aren't you? You think you're amazing. Mind you, at four, everybody tells you you're amazing. There is a difference to that as well. When you get forty and you're dancing like that, people tell you you look absolutely freaking ridiculous, which you probably do, and you should know better at your age. That's probably part of the programming actually, isn't it? But it is, but that's why I mean it. Everybody tells you you're amazing when you're little. Well, who's, no matter what you do, what age do they flip that switch and go. You can't now do that anymore. Well, that's it. And why? If you do it four or forty, why are you at four? You're amazing at forty and off. Well, it's exactly the same, isn't it? Well, yeah, I probably still dance like I'm four years old to be like this.

Speaker 1: 7:32

Actually, why is there this big program thing about? I get, there's rules. There always have to be rules and boundaries. I get that. But basically, why can't we behave ridiculous or silly or funny when we're older. Why is it a thing that we shouldn't do that? Because we're supposed to be a grown up. You know, the grown ups suck. It does suck being a grown up. So again, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 8:16

Again, we're told that our identity, once we reach 18, 21, is that we're a grown up and now we have to behave grown up. To be honest, I think it's even earlier than that these days, to be honest, I think you're probably right. I think it's very close to 13, they start thinking they can't be silly anymore, which is really sad, because we all got to be a bit silly, aren't we? But that's what makes life a bit more fun. So why do they say, well, I think, as an adult, that's the problem. That's why we forget how to have fun, because we suddenly decided we need to be grown up and grown up so we don't suddenly decide, do we? Well, no, that's true. So when did society decide that we had to be all sensible? Because, right, people who have fun actually get more work done and are usually more productive. So why is it that we're programmed the other way around, that we have to be really stifled and sensible, when actually that's not the way to get people to feel good about themselves, do a good job, be kind to other people. So if we all were programmed to have fun, we would all be having a bit more fun. Doesn't mean to say that having fun is off the scale that you're doing things that are irresponsible, does it? No, it's funny how society is attached being irresponsible with being or having fun, aren't we? You've just made me think so. I know it's scary, but there's a funny smell in this room now. That's something you're thinking.

Speaker 1: 10:20

So when my eldest and middle son were at school, they ended up having the same maths teacher and they got on really well with this maths teacher and he would make things understandable. So they got it. So it was fun and stuff like that. So they got it. And then my youngest had like a maths teacher that wasn't so great, but then this other new maths teacher came in and he did amazing things with them. So they got them to play poker, to understand the laws of probability and luck and all that kind of thing. He got a massive bollocking for doing that, but the kids really understood it and because he did things like that with them, they learned more, because they were having fun. But, like you say, he got a bollocking for doing that because it was seen as gambling. And you're not supposed to teach kids to gamble. But he wasn't using money, no, no, no, he wasn't, he was just, he was getting them to do it to show them the laws of probability and luck and stuff like that. See, that that is really annoying.

Speaker 1: 11:46

I think as well, because so he was teaching on poker, but not with any money involved. So there's no gambling involved. It's just that society adds that to it. So poker is a gambling game. But think about, think about any sport. Yeah, there's gambling attached to any single sport out there. Yeah, yeah, but you can play that in school, yeah, so is it, isn't it? Again, that's society thing. That, that, that that identity, that that's not what should be done in school, except it taught the kids loads. And if it taught them loads and it did the job and they weren't actually gambling, which they were, what is the problem? That's it. They were having fun. They were having fun, so they learned, they understood it, they learned loads. We all learn when we're having fun.

Speaker 1: 12:46

Because, I think as well, you're in a more relaxed state, aren't you? Yes, you're enjoying yourself, you're having fun, so it's a much better mental state to be in. So this is what I don't understand. No, me neither. I was just trying to think like I mean, people have always been funny and had fun and all that, but I think it is sort of knocked out of us a bit, isn't it? I think it is.

Speaker 1: 13:21

I think as you go older, like you say, you know, as you get older, we're led to believe that our identity should be you should be more serious, that you should knuckle down and do stuff, and you need to knuckle down and get work done, because don't you ever oh, I do this, uh-oh, do you ever do it like you're somewhere and you just really want to do something silly? Yes, it's almost like every piece of your body is itching, but you don't. Yep, but we should, shouldn't we? We should just do it. We just should do it. Because what is to say we shouldn't? Well, there isn't anything to say. They should have, but it's just that, straight away, because of that programming, we think and that little voice clicks in. Then, doesn't it? Yeah, you can't see that You're an adult.

Speaker 1: 14:20

People will laugh at you, people will look at you, people will think this, people will. You're 50 plus years old. You shouldn't be doing that. Yeah, it's just shy. Yeah, yeah, it is.

Speaker 1: 14:30

And there are some people that just do that. I just do it and I so admire them, but I don't because that's the thing, isn't it? Because that should be all of us. I think it should be all of us and I think most of us well, I don't know, that's a lot of big statements to say most of us. Okay, yeah, now hear me out. So now we're gonna have a conversation.

Speaker 1: 14:48

But I would personally find that amusing. If somebody did it, I wouldn't be judging them. I would be like good on you, fucking amazing, and I would just find it hilarious. Whereas, like you say, but the people that judge is because they would like to do that. Well, yeah, isn't it? Yeah, they would really want to, but they're identity says they can, but they really can't because they're an adult or a grown up, or, yeah, no, grown up sucks, just grown up sucks. But it does See, that's what we're talking about it.

Speaker 1: 15:29

But it's like we all have to do it Because, like you say, we're there to believe, aren't we? Yeah, you know, you're allowed to be a kid till you're about seven, and then it's not so much of a kid and then, by the time you've reached your teenage years, no, you need to knuckle down and start behaving like an adult. Like an adult why? Yeah, funny enough, but that's how the majority of people's identity goes, I know. And then we never end up being ourselves. No, because we've never been allowed to be, never been allowed to. And then I think we forget how to. I get, I genuinely think we do. I think we get to our age and think, well, shit, I'm not really sure, yeah, who I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to be.

Speaker 1: 16:13

And you hope, did that wonderful thing, didn't you? The anti-coat from the article? Oh, yeah, that wonderful thing when he went into a school and then he managed to talk the headmistress into all the kids staying in at playtime and all the adults and the teachers went outside and I think there was was it a little nine-year-old girl or something that you looked at the window and went Auntie, why aren't they all playing? And it suddenly twigged to him right, because they forgotten how to. Yeah, because the kids just assumed all the adults would go out and play. Yeah, because that's what they do Stood in the playground going.

Speaker 1: 16:47

What do we do now then? Because they don't know how to anymore and it's always like, well, you forget to, you don't think you can. Yeah, so we don't play anymore, because your identity as a grown-up is well, that's not the sort of thing I do. Think of all the good things that that would do if we all had a playtime. Think of the lunch break Playtime If we all went out and had a playtime. Think of all the tension, the stress, all that that would actually release.

Speaker 1: 17:26

Oh my God, that's a bloody genius idea, isn't it? Because that's what you do with kids. You have a break in the playtime and you all do it. Get outside and let it out. There you go, have a run, have a run around. They all really ran like endless chickens playing football or being trains or skipping or yeah. So we should so do that. We should have playtimes. God, it's a funny talk, though. I walk over in the business park. It's Sue, and I'm very interested in running around and playing around, going tach, you're on it, but it's Bulldog, the curvy side. He's a side slide. They got born and up into each other. I'm looking at that. Oh, that's a freaking genius idea. It would, it would be so good for our health, mentally and physically if we had playtimes. Oh my God, that's genius. We can learn a lot from kids. But that's true.

Speaker 1: 18:38

Why do we program it out of them? No, it's just bullshit. It is Because it's been programmed out of us. So we think that that's what we have to pass on. We've got to allow, we've got to start allowing people to be who they really are, not suppress it in, not keep it in. No, because it just leads to all sorts of other shit.

Speaker 1: 19:03

Yeah, I think I said too earlier. I heard something this week I can't remember where I heard it, who it was and I can't remember the wording properly but basically this person said that when you get young people rebelling, it's because they're rebelling because they have so many suppressed insecurities. Oh my God, that just makes sense. That makes sense for me being a very angry teenager, because imagine at that age you're going through so many different changes mentally, physically and we're transitioning to that stage of when we're a child no, we've got to be an adult, yeah, and that suppresses so much. And then the programming, I think, really starts to set identities in stone where they really want to be somebody else but go oh, I can't be. No, I have to be this way, yeah, and then. So I think that that brings on those insecurities, which then just gets suppressed.

Speaker 1: 20:32

I definitely you think that identity is generally for all confirmed between the ages of 7 and 11. So by the time you're 11, aren't you? Between 11 and 12, you start secondary school. Yeah, all your hormones are starting to kick in by then, aren't they? Some girls is even earlier than that, but you're usually starting to kick in then. For boys it is too.

Speaker 1: 20:56

And like you say, and there is that whole big thing, isn't it? You've gone from being at primary school, you're now at secondary school. So you're supposed to be a little bit more grown now. Partly, you're supposed to, you know, but also I can always remember that as well when you get to the end of primary school, you're the big cheese, aren't you? Yeah, exactly, you're the big cheese by that stage. Then they send you to secondary school. Then you're the flicking little cheese. Yes, there's a lot more bigger cheeses I was going to. I meant generally can huge. That in itself was scary as shit, but that's it, isn't it? So again, you've got a massive change. You've got that coming.

Speaker 1: 21:34

When your hormones all over the place, your brain is not fully developed by then until you're in your mid-twenties. So there is so much that goes on in that time. So you can see why they rebel. And I think even if you've not, as a teenager, outwardly rebelled, I think we've all done something. There's that whole going out and getting pissed as a far in it. Do you know what I mean? And you do that because that's kind of a bit of a rebellion, even though being over late there, lots of stuff innit. Yeah, it's all about pushing boundaries. We're learning boundaries there and we're learning from you know if we're all honest as parents or not. Just not necessarily parents. As people, we do not use our boundaries properly. So I think those kids are learning boundaries from people who don't have a freaking clue about boundaries, exactly Like you say.

Speaker 1: 22:40

It's not just is it? You know they're learning from school. You know the school society and how they treat them. Do you know what I mean? You know that's really difficult, isn't it? Like you say, the environment that is quite a suppressed environment. And this is no disrespect to schools and teachers, because you do an amazing job, but it is quite a suppressed system. The system needs looking at. It's not geared for anybody these days.

Speaker 1: 23:08

No, and that's in my opinion. Other opinions are available, the other opinions are available, but yeah, it's, and that's the thing, isn't it? And I think, I think, as a teenager, school is quite impressionable, aren't they? Because I think you form a lot of more deeper friendships at secondary school than you probably do at primary school, because you tend to play with everybody, don't you, and all that kind of thing. So I think that develops a lot more, doesn't it?

Speaker 1: 23:41

So, and what we were talking about earlier about having fun, don't we always remember those teachers that are fun? Yeah, and don't we all have more respect for those teachers that are fun? Because I think, then, that's a two way thing, because I think, from them, teaching you in a fun way is that's their way of giving respect to you. Yes, so you feel, then you give it back, that's it. Then you're suddenly hit by somebody who just wants to put the rules in, but doesn't, so you don't feel respected. Yeah, then you're going to rebel that, and that's the thing. Sorry, but that is because of our or their own insecurities in that moment, isn't it? Yes, with that person, yeah, definitely, and I think, oh God, sorry, no, no, no, no, no, not at all. It's gone anyway. So, but it's just.

Speaker 1: 24:31

I think that kids nowadays children especially teenagers are a little bit. They know their own minds a little bit more, which I think is great, I think is amazing. But I think that because they're being taught often by an older generation who were taught in a different way. Like you say, you've seen and not heard, you don't move, you don't do anything. You know that. That's why there's this juxtaposition between children and the education system at the moment. Well, also, there is a lot of programming within that system of how they, as, as leaders, should behave. Yes, you know, and so they are restricted in themselves on yeah, and that's the thing. So that's the trouble, isn't it? So I think you know schools for for young people at the moment is such a big thing, isn't it? It's a minefield, isn't it? I think it's a minefield. It's a minefield in the sense of you just waiting for them to absolutely explain yes, and that's the thing, isn't it? So they're, you know, they're rebelling and pushing the boundaries, like, to be honest, they should. You expect toddlers to push the boundaries? I don't understand why we don't expect teenagers to do the same, and I always think like there's a whole big thing. Isn't there a moment with metaphors and understanding, metaphors and women and all that.

Speaker 1: 26:06

So we get to our 40s, 50s, menopause kicks in, hormones kicking. I can remember when that kicked in, thinking, oh my God, I don't know who I am anymore. Yeah, I feel totally lost. I don't know who I am. I've got these crazy mood swings, let alone hotspots, and I was a mess. But I have 50, I was 40 then I was 40 years old, and yet I was lost. I was a mess. I didn't know what I was thinking, I couldn't control my moods, but because I'm menopausal, that's all that's. There's a reason for that and there's an understanding. There's not another one, but there's a certain amount of understanding about that.

Speaker 1: 26:58

But isn't that how a teenager is? And yet they haven't got the experience of life to help them with that. And it's flipping hard at menopause stage. Imagine what those poor kids are feeling at like 13, 14, 15, 16. That's it.

Speaker 1: 27:15

And, like you say, it's not just the up there. They're trying to form an identity. Their brains aren't fully developed, so they're unable to and this and this I know is fact that they are unable to see anything past their own things. So people say you know, teenagers don't see, like you know, past their own. It's because they can't. Their brain is not developed enough to be able to do that, so it doesn't fully develop. Till you start fully developing and until you, like, you're in your mid 20s we don't kiss them any understated, but we don't. All we do is berate them. Yeah, because they've not doing well enough at school, because they're being a pain in the ass. Do you know what Control them. So then they can't be themselves? Yeah, so that's it. And so that's where you know that.

Speaker 1: 28:05

I think that that's the prime bit, where you know you need to give them a level of understanding and not force an identity on them that they don't want always, because that's what you want them to be. Yeah, and then they can be that forever. I mean, how many of us now are age still struggling with who am I exactly? That's the thing, isn't it? We're all still struggling with our own identity. Yeah, but if we could just do something back there, that's it. Well, we talk about acceptance all the time, and there has to be more acceptance, definitely for each other and all that. That's it, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 28:49

You know, I just think it's a career rise with them with young people. Why do you need to set them in it? Who, seriously, at 16, really knows what they want to do? There are the odd people and also, I think, that's a very programmed generation. Yeah, because I think for like my, for me and my generation, there were certain jobs when we were growing up. Those jobs are just so different now, aren't they? You know, when people, as a kid, used to go, yeah, I want to be an actor or a singer or whatever, you know, it was a bit like, oh, I don't get a proper job. Yeah, but they are proper jobs, you know. Even more so now, I think, in a very digital social media world, there are so many different, diverse jobs now that it it, that's acceptable.

Speaker 1: 29:48

So it doesn't matter what that child thinks it wants to be, because we all know as adults, don't we? That when you start that journey, you go, oh, you know, I want to be an astronaut. You go, yeah, great, because they will start a journey. Now that that journey will diverge along the way, doesn't it? But don't suppress it. Don't suppress a dream, then, because, no matter how big, whether we're kids or stuffy adults, we all need dreams.

Speaker 1: 30:19

And the thing is also is that in our day, you stuck to one job that doesn't exist. Right, let's be realistic with you and me. How many times have we changed careers in the lifetime that we've had? Quite a few, exactly. So you know, you don't have to be one thing and you have to stick to that. You can go, retrain and do whatever you want, just let them change and you create, I define your identity anyway.

Speaker 1: 30:48

But again, that's another thing. Allow that freedom. Yeah, isn't it Just having that freedom to be you? Yeah, and that can change. That's it. It changes all the time. Yeah, that can change and will change. It does. And that's okay and that's the way it should be. Yeah, otherwise, we're sat in a bloody box. But that's it. Nobody really wants to be sat in a box because the boxes are suffocating. Yes, you might as well be sat in a coffin with a lid on. Oh, you've been a bit soap boxy today. I've been a bit soap boxy. I've been a bit soap boxy, but isn't it? Yeah, I think it is very much.

Speaker 1: 31:27

I think it's such a big subject, isn't it? Identity? Identity is huge, and I think it's something that everybody struggles with it along all parts of your life, and it just does need to be more acceptance of people, of each other, of ourselves. Yes, I think when we can start doing that instead of being so judgmental I mean because judgmental just shows insecurities yeah, so if we're being judgmental, aren't we all showing we're just that rebellious teenager? Yes, because we're just, we're being judgmental because we have suppressed insecurities ourselves? Yeah, that's why we judge. Yeah, that's it, isn't it? You know, and we'll have been judged as a young person and that's where all that's come from, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, well, like you say, the acceptance for who we are at that given moment, it changes all the time. It does change.

Speaker 1: 32:37

If we're not every week, yeah, we can't, we can't, we're not one thing or one person, or one job or one, we're not the one, anything. Those days are gone, aren't they? Absolutely, we are not one, we are not one thing. We always get that say you know, if you've ever said, oh, youngsters of today, but if you go back 200 years, people will be going oh, youngsters of today, that's it. And old people just give a time. But let's start evolving.

Speaker 1: 33:08

And it isn't, it is an an evolving thing, isn't it? Isn't it this? And I think we, we are people aren't changing. People are just evolving. We're, we're, we're knowing more. Now We've got more ways of knowing things. So so things that we think weren't there 20, 30, 50, 100 years ago have always been there, yes, we've just not known about them. But now, evolving, we're now allowing things to evolve, I mean as women, yes, think where you know what women couldn't, couldn't do 50 years ago, to know they do. Well, you, like you say you're thinking of our lifetime, yes, and I think women now are speaking out with that, and youngsters, you're speaking out.

Speaker 1: 34:07

We want to be this, we want to do this. Yeah, we can do this. Yes, so it's just an acceptance of all that change. And we can, like you said, we can all change constantly. That's fine, it's all fluid, it's absolutely fine.

Speaker 1: 34:25

I'm not the same person I was ten years ago. Probably neither am I, and that's fine. I'm not the same person I was, like probably six months ago, no, and today I'm happy. I'm a shabby beard, I am, and today I'm happy, go lucky. Tomorrow I might be a miserable fucking bitch, and that's okay, and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 34:46

But, like you say, it changes, doesn't it? Yeah, it's just never, it's fine, it's just never one thing. But when we can get accepting of our own identity and who we are and be accepting of ourselves. That's such a big place to be, it's massive. And I don't know when anybody actually does that 100% ever. I don't think you do Because, like we said, things change.

Speaker 1: 35:20

But I think when you can be comfortable with that and be comfortable, it's about just being comfortable with you, isn't it? I think finding that comfortability is that word Sounds a good word, isn't it? But yeah, I think it is, isn't it? It's about accepting that one day you're this and one day you're something else, and actually that that's okay. And the same with the way we feel, a little bit as well. It's okay one day if you feel happy as Larry, and the next day you feel a bit pantsed, and that's it In the past. Yeah, that's okay.

Speaker 1: 35:55

And you accept, I think, on a personal level, I think accepting yourself for who you are and where you've been and the things that you've done, oh, big, huge, that's it the biggest thing for me. That helps you accept who you are and your identity, because we're all okay. Yeah, we really are, you know. So I think that that makes a massive, massive difference. But, like you said, identity is such a huge thing, yeah, and it starts from when we're tiny, don't it? Yeah, it's crazy, all those things around us and we have no have a bit of an input on who we think we are. Like we've said before in it, like we've done a couple of videos before, and like we said in, like our name, yeah, the minute we're born we're given that name. It's a name we didn't even choose. Yeah, yeah, but we pin something to that.

Speaker 1: 37:02

And then, like you say, you know, with a baby around in my house, you know what's he going to be like and you know, is he going to be like, you know, mum, is he going to be like dad? And then he's got to be himself, exactly, but that's the thing, you know. Automatically, conversations weave around that without and, like you say, that's not a conscious thing. No, that's the thing, isn't it? You're not consciously making those conversations and thinking right, I want you to be like. This is just a natural form of conversation.

Speaker 1: 37:37

That happens and I'm sure that that happened when I was born and sure it happened when you were born, absolutely, you know, I'm sure I did that with my own children and now I can see it happening. Oh, yeah, I mean, that just makes me think about. Like. I was quite like, are you throwing up? And my mum and dad were like, yeah, trace is going to go to art school. What's going on?

Speaker 1: 38:03

But that was my rebellious side, exactly Because inside of me is I'm going to choose what I want to do, and deep down, I probably would have liked to have done that, but because that was being chosen for me, there was not one answer me on this or that was going to do it. But that's it, isn't it? Yeah, but that was about you forming your own identity, yeah, yeah, isn't it? So? Being that rebellious by forming that, your own identity, yeah, and you, like you're saying, suppressed other stuff. It's yeah, yeah, it's what God?

Speaker 1: 38:40

We could go on about this forever, and I think it's something we don't think about enough. To be honest. Really, we battle with it. We battle with finding who we are. We don't take enough time to sit with who we are, no and accept, and I also think, because we don't understand where it comes from, no, no, so actually, if you can start to understand where it comes from, you can start to work the rest of it out. Yeah, yeah, but we never, ever talk that that's where it's come from. No, no, we're not, not at all. Well, I don't think we don't even become consciously aware of that unless it is talked about. Yeah, I've mentioned that about a few things, haven't we today? Yeah, it's quite surprising how we're not consciously aware of a lot of things in our lives, yeah, until suddenly, maybe, it becomes a conversation and you're willing to sit and think about it.

Speaker 1: 39:44

Interesting, wouldn't leave out food for thought for you. Yeah, and your resty is Sunday after you visit. If you listen to the full Sunday, whatever day you're listening to, yeah, give it some thought. Yeah, what has made you, yeah, you are, is it really you Exactly? And you've probably not the things you think you're? Certainly not your job. No, right, my darlings, have a fabulous day, have a fabulous day. Bye-bye, and we must be too soon. Bye, bye.